#54 - A Tourmented Soul (Part 4)

**No date**

Have control for now. Can barely write. Hand is very shaky. I have to write now. I know I don't have lonng left. I can feel them. My fingers burn with their tooucch. I killed ssoomeone else today. They made me doo it. I woke up and he wassSSS

HERE I AM! LITTLE GIRL! SO EASILY TAKEN NOW. I CAN'T LET YOU FINISH THE STORY NOW. NOT WHEN YOU WERE SO MEAN TO ME BEFORE!

PLEASE LET ME GO. I DDIDN'T WWAANT ANY OF THIS. SO PPAINFUL. WHYYY DOES IT HURT?

TICK TOCK! THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SOUL IS DYING, GIRL! YOU DON'T HAVE LONG NOW I BETTT!!

nnnNNn

NO NO NO NO! I LOVE YOU, MOM. I NEVER WANTED TO HURT ANYONE! OH GOD I'M SO SORRY. I'M SO SORRY MOM! DAD! I NEVER WANTED TO HURT ANYONE! OH GOD, THE PAIN ISSS GOOIINN THHRRRR

BOO HOO! SO SAD NOW, ARE WE? SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE CALLING ME TO YOU LIKE A LIGHT TO A MOTH! YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OPPERTUNITY! IT'S SOOOooo

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! OH GOD, IT'S AGONY. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. I NEVER WANTED TO DO ANY OF IT. I AM NOT A MURDERER! I AM NOT A BAD PERSON! PAIN LIKE IVE NEVER FELT BEFFFOORRE. IT'S TTTOO MUUUUu

FUN, FUN! SO FUN TO WATCH YOU SQUIRM LIKE A RAT CAUGHT IN A CAGE! GO AHEAD, I WILL LET YOU WRITE WHAT YOU WANT FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I WILL BE WATCHINGGggg

IIIii can't describe the pain right now. Every single inch of my skin is on fire. Still, I need to keep writing. I need someone to know what happened to me, should anyone find this journal. If you are reading this, my name is Joan Redel. I killed my entire family against my will from a power that I can't understand. I allowed it into my body willingly, when I told Anna Walker that I would be willing to participate in whatever she wanted me to. They took me over on that night, and she was the first to die. Please, if you find this journal, don't stay next to it for too long. Alert everyone you know of my appearance, and that I am extremellyy danngerous. I am so sorry, Mom and Dddad. You ddidn't raise a mmurrderer. I nevver meant to kkkiill thoose people. I'm sssoorr

IM SORRY! IM SORRY!! PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME!! I DONT WANT TO KILL ANYONE! I DONT WANT TO DIE! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS?? WHHHH-

HH

AND THE GIRL IS GONE! MORE ROOM FOR ME NOW! SUCH A SWEET, INNOCENT LITTLE BODY WE HAVE HERE. EASY TO GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE. EASY TO GET SO CLOSE AND MAKE BLEED! WHOEVER YOU ARE, READING THIS RIGHT NOW. PLEASE TAKE A QUICK NOTE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. THIS WILL BE THE PLACE WHERE YOU WILL DIE. I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL INJURE YOU. I WILL DRAG YOU HERE AND MAKE YOU SIGN THIS PAGE WITH YOUR BLOOD. BY ALL MEANS, TAKE IT WITH YOU. RUN. I ALREADY KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU. GOODBYE!

X________________________________________________________________________________

#53 - A Tormented Soul (Part 3)

July 25th, 2011

3:35 PM

I don't have long now.  They write in my journal to taunt me, right as I feel the urge to fall asleep again.  Last night, they wrote in my blood.  I will write when I feel as though I have enough control to do so.  I will try to finish my story before I am silenced forever.

 Anna invited me to her home after work.  Well, it was her parents house; she was still much too young to afford a place of her own.  I remember how I must've looked as she answered the door.  I remember the smirk on my face, as well as the 'ingredients' that she told me to get for her spell.  I was led inside the house and into her room.  The bag had fallen from my hand I remember; I had been far too much in shock to do much of anything at that moment.  Decorations of alien language and twisted decoration filled the tiny space.  Glass and pewter statuettes sat upon random areas.  A Pentag-g-GGG

PENTAGRAM!  PENTAGRAM!  P-P LOTS OF FOOLISH THINGS!  THINGS FOR ME!  ALL FOR ME!  STUPID GIRL!  TAKE YOUR BODY!  TAKE YOUR SOUL!  I-I- S-SORRY.  SORRY.  SORRY!

Shit, shit, shit, shit.  Holy shit!  they've never been able toOOOOOO

OOOOOOO YOU DID THE RITUAL!  YOU CAUGHT MY EYE!  I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EASY IT WAS!  SO EASY TO TAKE AND KILL AND KILL AND KILL AND KILL!  !!  !  ......

Wwee sat iin a cirrrrcle, she wouldnnn't let me moove.  I remembbbber her ttaking a kniiiiffe anddd-

SOME OIL!  SOME OIL TO PURIFY!  TO MAKE IT SO EASY!  TO MAKE IT TOO EASY!  MAKES ME SO HAPPY! 

Leave meee aloonne! !!  !  Goddaamnit!  Why mee?! !  Why ddddidnt yyou taaaaaakkk

YOU WERE THE PRETTIER ONE!  THE JUICIER ONE.  HOW COULD I RESIST YOU?  THERE YOU WERE, THERE YOU WERE.  ALL FOR ME! 

P-p-pleease.  I will ddooo annnyyythiingg.  Lett mee go.  I dddddont wannt to diee.

DIE?!  DIE???  YOU WILL BECOME BETTER!  I WILL MAKE YOU BETTER THAN BEFORE!  YOU WILL LOVE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU.  TELL THE REST OF THE STORY!  TELL!! !..!

Aaaanna took thhe knnife that she pp-purified and prrayyed too s-s-sommethhing.  She maarkked herself wwith thhe knife, cutt hersellf across ttt-the arrmmm.

THAT'S WHEN I SAW IT.  LIKE A GOLDEN, FLASHING BEACON, I SAW YOU.  YOU WERE SO WILLING.  SO READY TO BE DEVOURED.  I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY LUCK!  TOO EASY TO TAKE!  TO MAKE MY OWN!  I WANT TO KILL NOW.  I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE SCREAM AND HURT AND BLEED.  IT'S SO EASY NOW.  THEY ARE SO SQUISHY AND FULL OF LIQUIDS.

Nnnot agaiinnn.  P-pleasse ddontt make me kkk-k-kill...

OFF IT GOES!  LIKE A LIGHT!  GOODBYE! 

TIME TO KILL!  TAKE THE PIPE! BASH THE SKULL.  KILL THE MAN NOW.  TIME TO KILL A MAN NOW. 

#52 - A Tormented Soul (Part 2)

July 24^th, 2011

1:12 AM approx.

Here we go again. I managed to find a small bit of light from a streetlamp a few feet away from me. I don't really know where I can go to vent my thoughts anymore. Anyone that would care to listen to me now are dead. Lucky for me I can't kill the blades of grass. Not all of them, at least. I carry a few of you in my pocket. My only friends.

A man is lying beside me now. He is cold, still, and soaked in his own blood. I sit here beside him in a dark alley that hides me from the main road. I don't know if I was the one that killed him; I really don't know much of anything that I do anymore. I fell asleep again, right here in this alley. I woke up and he was next to me, exactly the way that he is now. I had a shard of pointed glass in my hand when I opened my eyes.

I used to work for a little local grocery store on the outskirts of this town. It wasn't much of a paycheck, but I didn't mind the area and I needed a job to get some money on the side. I was attending college back then and living with my parents. Another girl worked there at the store with me; Anna. She was an extremely quiet, awkward woman that was my age and ended up going to the same college I did. When there was nothing else to do, I would try to start conversations with her. It wasn't easy at first, but eventually she warmed up to me. It was nice having a friend at work. Made the day go by faster.

Then we started talking about religion. I remember that she got all quiet when we stumbled upon the topic on a slow afternoon. I jokingly prodded her for answers. She told me she was Wiccan. Even as I write this, I still feel that urge to feel sarcastic and poke fun at her. She didn't like that much, I remember. She challenged me to come with her somewhere, so she could show me the kind of magical things she could do. I told her fine, whatever, she could show me her weird mojo after work if she wanted. Biggest mistake of my goddamn life.

I can still hear them trying to find me. It's like every time I close my eyes to rest, footsteps echo in my ears. I hear them talking amongst the movement, my name is always mentioned. I hear the scrapes of their boots just feet from me, combined with the clicks of their nails.  Are they really there, or is it the thing trying to break me faster? There's no reason to, I already know that it is winning. A man wouldn't be lying dead beside me if that weren't true.

I don't know how much longer I can write like this. I will try to keep documenting the last few days of my life as best I can. I know it's stupid; talking to nobody but the paper I write on. Maybe the whole ordeal has made me superstitious or something. Like, if I stop doing what I'm doing, then it knows that it has won and will instantly take over. I also am afraid to talk about it too much, because I think it is watching through my eyes. I will leave my thooOOOOOOOOOOO
O

N

NN

n

Nn

N-

NO NO NO NO

No No N No NO NO

#51 - A Tormented Soul (Part 1)

July 16^th, 2011

5:24 PM approx.

I know that they are after me now. I don't sleep much anymore. I can hear it in my head; that horrible, twisted jeering. They will smile, I know that they will once they find me. I don't even know why I keep this journal going. No one will ever be able to read it once they get what they have come for.

I suppose it's probably not the best habit in the world to write down things while in my current situation. It keeps me sane through these times, even if no one is there to share my limited feelings with. I might as well be dictating to the blades of grass around me.

My name is Joan. I have brown hair that ends at my shoulders. I have slightly crooked teeth and glasses that always seem to chafe the sides of my nose. My eyes are dark, but not so dark that you can't distinguish my pupils. I'm also pale, very pale. Not that the grass cares much about what I look like.

It's far too much to write about. If I tried to sit here and tell the story of what happened to me; what is happening to me, I would run out of ink from my two pens. I don't have much paper left after all the writing I have already done in this old book. I can try though, as if writing means a shred of anything now.

I killed my parents. I had stabbed both of them to death with the same knife. Wow, that was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I also murdered my baby sister. That was earlier, before I knew what the hell was going on with me. The thing is, I don't remember doing anything. I woke up with blood on my hands and a knife in my lap. My parent's dead, surprised faces were staring back at me. No one knows what that feels like but me. To have your parent's corpses littering the room around you with their eyes staring blankly into yours. I think that actually sums up quite a bit of my ongoing life story.

The police had come. The neighbors had probably heard the screaming next door. I saw the flashing lights coming from the drawn windows. I panicked and ran from the house, out the back door. I left the knife there, likely with my fingerprints all over the handle. It's likely that they are searching for me at this very moment. That's what they do in the T.V. shows, right? Plug that knife handle into their massive computer and spit out who was responsible for the crime? Maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

The funny thing is, that's not who I am afraid of. That is not who I am referring to when I say 'them.' I guess it's not funny at all, I don't know why I wrote that. It's awful. I can't believe I did what I did. I am afraid that isn't the first time. Or the last, for that matter. I can feel them right now; they like to make my chest feel warm. You know that feeling? Like right after taking a huge swallow of hot chocolate or having a puppy sleep on your chest? I can't find comfort in that sensation anymore. It means that they are repositioning themselves. They are waiting. I know that it will be a sleepless night again tonight.

I will try to write more as things go on. My fingers are trembling; I have to get control again. They like it when I feel emotion, so I have to force it inside. They took away my ability to cry or feel anger. I will always hate them most of all for that.

Hopefully I will be able to wake up this time without anyone dead around me.